I remember the first time I visited the pediatrician after my daughter was born. The doctor held a chart and started asking about milestones my baby was “supposed” to be meeting. I felt a weird sense of pride whenever I answered yes—and a twinge of worry when I answered no.
Thankfully, my pediatrician reassured me that milestones are just a way to track progress and flag any potential concerns, but it should never be taken as a rigid checklist to follow. Still, I found myself wanting to say yes to everything, as if it proved my baby was “on track.” But what does that even mean? Is there really a one-size-fits-all timeline for development?
As a new mom, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and have a desire to fit into the milestones chart. After all, not meeting the developmental checklist can keep you wondering why.
The truth is, it’s not your fault. Everywhere you look, from social media to well-meaning family members, there is constant talk about when babies should roll over, take their first step, say their first words, potty train, etc. It can feel like an unspoken competition, and comments like “Oh she’s not potty trained yet?” or “my daughter walked way before yours! She walked when she was 1!” can create unecessary doubt, worry and sometimes a rush to fit into the “norm”.
But here’s the truth: Baby milestones are guidelines, not deadlines. Every child develops at their own pace, and there is no single path that defines what is “normal.”
Development Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
Some babies are runners, they get up and sprint across the room before even crawling. Others are little talkers, they say their first word before you have a chance to adjust to their baby babbles. My daughter was a late teether; while her cousin had a few teeth out by her age, hers took their sweet time making an appearance (much to my relief as a breastfeeding mama!).
my daughter’s teeth came out much later in her journey. Ofcourse, we were concerned and headed to the dentist who reassured us that everything was perfectly fine, she would just have to wait a little longer for her turn with the tooth fairy.
Every child develops at their own pace and neither is better nor worse – It’s a simple refleciton of individual development. Comparing your little one to others can create unnecessary stress and doubt. Instead of focusing on where they “should” be, embrace where they are and celebrate their personal milestones as they come.
The Problem with Milestone Pressure
How many times have you heard, “She’s still in diapers?” or “He still doesn’t sleep through the night?” Society has created this expectation that babies should hit certain milestones within a set timeframe, and if they don’t, it means they’re “behind.” This pressure often falls on moms, making them feel responsible for ensuring their little one meets these expectations—sometimes even rushing things their baby isn’t ready for.
I had a friend who started potty training her daughter simply because she felt like it was time. Everywhere she turned—social media, conversations with other moms, and societal norms—made her feel like she was already “late”. But the process didn’t go as planned. Her daughter resisted, and after a frustrating experience, she decided to pause. A few weeks later, her daughter began showing clear signs of readiness—communicating when she needed to go, refusing to use her diaper, and even waking up at night to use the bathroom. This time, potty training was smooth and stress-free because she was truly ready. Fitting into her own timeline made the potty training experience a smooth and easy one for her.
The truth is, development doesn’t follow a straight path—it has ups, downs, and pauses. And that’s completely okay.
Trusting Your Baby’s Unique Timeline
Instead of focusing on strict timelines, focus on your little one’s progress – it’s amazing how much they change and grow in just a few days. If your baby is happy, engaged and gradually developing new skills, there’s probably no need to worry about a few small “misalignments” with typical milestone timelines.
Of course, if you’re ever feeling uncertain about your child’s development, a chat with your pediatrician can offer reassurance. Finding a pediatrician who understands the pressures moms face around milestones and communicates openly with you is so important. Your doctor will let you know if something doesn’t feel right, but otherwise, just enjoy watching your baby grow – it goes by so fast, and most of the time, variation is completely normal.
So, Remember This
Remember this, just like your journey as a mother is unique, your little one has their own beautiful journey of their own – one different from everyone else. That’s what makes them so special.
Take a deep breath, trust the process, and enjoy the ride. Celebrate every milestone as they reach them in their own time.
