I clearly remember the night I realized I was burnt out as a new mom. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I felt stuck and unsure of how to overcome this overwhelming feeling. In the past, I had felt overwhelmed by work, but I always managed to recharge with a vacation or a relaxing weekend. This time was different. I couldn’t take a vacation or a weekend for myself because I had the responsibility of caring for my beautiful baby. Despite needing a break, my Mom Guilt wouldn’t let me consider taking time or even moments away for myself.
Even though burnout is common among moms, I wasn’t very familiar with the term “mom burnout.” It wasn’t something people talked about openly. Instead, it often came with a sense of shame, as if feeling burnt out made you a bad parent. But I’ve learned that it’s quite the opposite and recognizing and addressing burnout is crucial for your mental wellbeing and happiness.
In this post, I hope to help you identify the signs of burnout and provide actionable steps to combat it.
What is Mom Burnout?
Mom burnout is the the feeling of physical and emotional exhaustion that comes with the demands and stress of parenting. Simply put, it’s feeling like a boiling pot about to overflow. This burnout often creeps up on us because we don’t realize that the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood need to be balanced with self-care until much later in our journey. Lack of sleep, perfectionist parenting expectations, information overload, and societal pressures all contribute to this tipping point of our boiling pot.
5 Signs of Mom Burnout
Exhaustion
You probably guessed that the first sign of burnout is exhaustion—physical, emotional, and mental. Of course, being physically exhausted is expected when you’re rarely getting quality sleep. But even on those rare occasions when you do get a good night’s sleep and still wake up feeling drained, that’s a sign of burnout. Mental exhaustion is your brain’s way of telling you it needs a break. You might find yourself stressed, unfocused, and procrastinating on tasks. This, too, is burnout. Emotional exhaustion is feeling extremely upset and on the brink of tears.
I remember sitting in a corporate training session one day with a group of strangers. The instructor was talking about reducing stress levels and the importance of not multitasking. I challenged him, saying it’s practically impossible for moms not to multitask, and asked if he had any suggestions. All he could think about was “don’t multitask”, which is practically impossible for a mom. After the training, a woman approached me and said she understood how hard motherhood is and that I needed to take a break and care for myself. If a stranger could see that I was on the brink of burnout, I knew I needed to do something about it.
Feeling Easily Triggered
The second sign of burnout is feeling easily triggered, like you have a shorter fuse than usual. This can manifest in various ways—snapping at your partner over minor issues, getting frustrated with your child more quickly, or feeling irritable while handling everyday tasks. Mood swings are a common symptom of burnout, and they can be specifically challenging when you’re a mom.
Motherhood requires an extraordinary level of patience, and when burnout sets in, maintaining that patience becomes much harder. You might find yourself feeling more agitated or overwhelmed, making it difficult to engage with your little one in a calm and patient manner. These mood swings can affect your overall emotional well-being, leading to a cycle of mom guilt and frustration. Recognizing this sign is important because it highlights the need to address burnout and take steps toward self-care, ensuring you can be present for both yourself and your family.
Being Overwhelmed
Have you ever felt like you’re trying to cram clothes into an overflowing suitcase that just won’t zip shut? That’s what a mother’s to-do list can feel like—like you can’t possibly add one more thing without everything bursting.
A mother’s to-do list is both physical and mental. Even when you’re sitting down to sip your coffee, your mind is likely racing with reminders of what to buy, what time your baby needs to nap, how many diapers are left, and countless other tasks that seem never-ending. The volume of responsibilities that moms juggle on a daily basis can be overwhelming.
Remember that training I mentioned earlier? When our to-do list is overflowing, we’re often forced to multitask and constantly switch from one task to another. This can leave our brains in alert mode, which increases stress levels and feelings of overwhelm.
Loss of Interest in Activities
Having an overflowing to-do list can leave little room for activities you once loved, and you probably tend to park them on the side, telling yourself that you’ll do them again “when you have time”. Even on days when you manage to carve out some free time, you might feel like you don’t have the mental capacity to engage in these activities.
The irony is that neglecting these activities can further contribute to burnout, and finding a balance between mama responsibilities and personal activities is important in preventing the cycle of overwhelm and exhaustion.
Overall Negative Feelings
One overarching sign of burnout in general is an overhwleming sense of negativity. It can manifest as feeling like a bad mom, despite knowing you’re doing you’re best ,or not finding joy in the little moments that once brought you happiness. You might even find yourself withdrawing from friends and loved ones.
Recognizing and addressing these signs is important for restoring mental well-being and finding balance in your life as mom.
How to Cope with Mom Burnout
Coping with mom burnout shouldn’t be a temporary fix for when you’re already burntout – it should be a way of life to prevent burnout altogether.
Here are six strategies to help prevent and manage feelings of burnout:
- Self Care – Prioritizing self care as a mother is very important for reducing stress and maintaining emotional balance. Engage in activities you enjoy, whether it’s reading your favorite book by the beach or getting your nails done – do whatever fills your own cup.
- Find Your Village – Moms are not meant to do everything on their own. That’s where the saying “it takes a village” come from. Find your support system and lean on them – whether that is delegating tasks to your partner, flying in grandma for a few weeks, or hiring a baby sitter when needed, motherhood thrives on support.
- Talk to Your Loved Ones – Share your feelings with your partner or a someone you trust. Regular check-ins can help you express your thoughts and emotions instead of keeping them bottled up.
- Let go of Perfectionism – There is no such thing as the perfect mom and setting realisitic expectations can help you realize that you are actually doing an amazing job!
- Practice Mindfulness – We have a whole blog post on using mindfulness to effectively manage stress that you can read here. Mindfulness is a strong technique that you can incorporate into your everyday life with just a few minutes a day, that make a big difference in the long run.
- Reach out to a Licensed Professional – Don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor if you feel overwhelmed. Finding a professional who understands your needs can assist you in finding balance and coping strategies.
Remember, every motherhood journey is unique, and it’s completely normal to feel burnt out at times. Modern moms juggle a multitude of responsibilities. By utilizing the right tools and techniques, you can prevent burnout and prioritize your overall happiness.
If you’re looking for an Empowerment Coach to help you find joy in parenting again and find your rhythm as a new mom, book your complimentary discovery session with one of our coaches!
