I expected to feel a sense of guilt leaving my baby to return to the workforce six months post-maternity leave. What I didn’t expect was how clingy that guilt actually is. Cue the ‘mom guilt’. It’s a constant companion that follows you everywhere, not just when you leave for work. I found myself feeling guilty over the little things like serving pasta to my toddler twice in a row, or trading in a family outing for a good nap. Turns out, mom guilt was here to stay.
What is Mom Guilt
If you’re a mom or have mom friends in your circle, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “Mom Guilt”. As the name explains, mom guilt is the feeling of doubt, inadequacy and, well, guilt that moms experience. From choosing to work or carving out a little bit of “me” time, mom guilt has a way of making its rounds.
The realities of mom guilt has been brought on by perfectionist expectations and the desire of wanting to do it all. Watching portrayals of what motherhood should be can stir up a mix of feelings.
It’s especially important for new moms and moms-to-be, who are about to dive into the deep end of motherhood, to understand mom guilt and how to overcome it.
Tips to Overcoming Mom Guilt
Although mom guilt is probably not something you will overcome overnight, there are a few things you can do to manage it and prevent burnout.
- Don’t Compare yourself to other Mamas: Social media and society can portray a misleading curated image of what motherhood should look like. Your motherhood journey is uniquely yours and what you see is not always the whole reality.
- Set Realistic Parenting Expectations: What makes you Supermama is how you love and care for your little one in your own special way. It’s not about ticking off tasks on your to-do list. Setting realistic and achievable expecations for yourself is important to understanding that you don’t have to do everything.
- Embrace Delegation: Speaking of not doing it all yourself, finding a support system that you trust with certain tasks is important in accepting delegation as part of your journey. For me it was my mom, knowing my daughter was in good hands and getting quality time with her grandma. This also allowed me time to take care of myself, creating a win-win situation.
- Share your Feelings: Sometimes, voicing out your worries is all you need to be reminder that you are doing an amazing job. It’s normal to need reassurance and support. I didn’t know how to explain mom guilt to my husband, but once I did, it helped me a lot. Always speak to your partner, family or mom community when you’re not feeling down.
- Celebrate your Wins: The thing about motherhood is it’s a constant role. We rarely stop to thing about the victories that were actually accomplished during our day. I remember the effort it took to transition my daughter out of her swaddle. A big win for us after trying for weeks that nearly went unnoticed until my husband pointed it out. Celebrate your successes along the way – big and small
Conclusion
Overcoming mom guilt doesn’t happen overnight. Remember that these feelings are normal and part of the process. Reach out to your support system, prioritize self care and embrace the realities of YOUR motherhood journey. Learning to shift your mindset from guilt to grace and perfection to presence is key. You got this Mama!
