Why This Story Matters
Motherhood is such an intense experience. It is a journey filled with complex emotions. Those that are shaped not only by our present circumstances but to a large degree by the echoes of our own childhood experiences.
For me, the decision to fully embrace motherhood was deeply rooted in my own childhood.
I grew up without any real memories shared with my mom, supporting her presence, especially during the first 10 years.
All I recall were orders to finish my food or to study and do my homework. While all the fun part was filled with my aunt, grandma, and dad.
When Presence Was Missing
My mum was a successful working woman committed to her career as an engineer. Therefore, her idea of motherhood was to make sure we attended an excellent school, were well-behaved, and had our materialistic needs covered.
She always said, “I do not kiss or hug; I get you the things you need.” Certainly, this made her real presence on the emotional level a rare coincidence.
That absence left a longing in my heart for a real daughter-mother bond.
For shared moments or for finding time to talk to her about my fears and needs. Indeed, I used to envy my friends who had this connection with their mums.
Becoming the Mother I Longed For
Years went by.
I graduated from medical school and started my career. As a shining star, I was dedicated, I excelled, and I proved myself. I was in a managerial position very early in my career.
Then, I got married to my colleague at work. I had no plans for how I would steer the future if we had children, but with my success, it was obvious that I would concentrate on my career.
Later on, I had my first baby. And everything changed.
Choosing Presence
I had three months of paid maternity leave during which I experienced motherhood for the first time.
The real connection I had missed.
When it was time to go back to work, I decided to extend my maternal leave to a whole year. To be present around my son. Even with all the hardships, it was the best year of my life.
Everyone around me said, “You are a doctor, you studied hard, and you must go back to work.” It did not take me long to make my decision.
A Decision That Shocked Everyone
I left my job!
This mother had to set aside her ambitions to continue her new adventure of being a mum.
I used to say,
“My son has only one mum. To him, I am essential. At work, they can find others to fill my place.”
This was a courageous decision. And it was worth everything. Being present for every little milestone, making thousands of memories around eating, playing, growing, sleeping, and bathing, was worth millions of pounds.
Healing Through Presence
To me, my motherhood journey came with lots of emotions that I am immensely grateful for. I experienced the joy of sharing my kids’ laughter, curiosity, and misbehavior.
The simple acts of cuddling, kissing, and hugs at any time were priceless. I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity God gave me to create a different story for my children.
A childhood filled with shared memories and presence. Something I always wished for myself.
Being present for my children helped me heal the wounded part of my own childhood. Every memory we created together filled the gaps left behind by my mother’s absence.
Looking Back Without Regret
Of course, there are moments when I wonder about the what-ifs. How my life might have been had I stayed at my work.
But these doubts quickly fade when I sit there talking to my children, who are young men now.
I feel the love and the connection we truly have.
I cherish the trust and openness that came over the years from simply being there. Always within reach, ready to listen, and ready to give a helping hand.
What I Hope They Remember
I hope my boys will have their hearts full of cherished memories.
I hope they remember me as a mother who was present.
Physically.
Emotionally.
Wholeheartedly.
A Final Word to Mothers
I started pursuing my career after my children became older. I did not make a fortune, and I am way behind my colleagues.
But for me, this does not matter at all. I am not judging working mothers, nor am I asking anyone to make my choices.
I am advising every mum to choose what really suits her best.
Not what others expect. Because motherhood is a unique and challenging experience.
Just embrace the journey and cherish every single moment.
From One Mother to Another
If you remember one thing, let it be this: presence is not something you give when you have time; it is something you choose, and its impact lasts a lifetime.
Have advice for moms or a personal story to tell? We’d love to feature your voice on our blog! Share your experiences with us here! We’re always excited to welcome new perspectives and stories from moms like you!
