My friends and family always used to say I was a perfectionist and truth is, they weren’t wrong. Before I ventured into motherhood, I focused on the little details, striving for perfection in everything I did. Little did I know that this trait, one I had thought of as a strength, would challenge me in ways I never believed.
Growing up, I admired how my mom who seemed to navigate motherhood effortlessly with love and grace. This made me believe that achieving perfectionism as a mother was within reach. This belief was often fueled by unrealistic pressures from social media, societal expectations, and movie portrayals of what motherhood “should be”. I had to learn through my journey as a mother that perfectionism is very different than what I had imagined it to be. It’s not about flawlessness but embracing each moment’s imperfections. It was only when I learned to let go and embrace the journey of motherhood that I discovered the beauty behind chaos.
Embracing Unpredictability in Motherhood
I approached motherhood the same way I had every other endeavor in my life; with planning and a pursuit of perfection. I scheduled my little one’s feeds, play and sleep times hoping it would help us both have more predictable days and peaceful nights ahead. However, with every waking in the middle of the night, I quickly realized that no level of preparation could map out the unpredictable journey of motherhood. It’s ironic that the lack of sleep was actually my wake-up call.
A Shift in Perspective: Finding Beauty in the Chaos
That realization led me to shift my perspective, opening my heart to the beauty found in unplanned moments. What I would have seen as flaws in the schedule, became joy and moments to remember. Here’s the thing, the middle of the night waking’s brought about unexpected cuddles, my toddler’s messy adventures around the house brought laughter shared with my husband, and the famous toddler tantrums helped me develop patience and understanding in ways I never would have imagined.
These chaotic moments, I found, were not just challenges to overcome but opportunities for growth and learning. They taught me invaluable lessons about motherhood, revealing that within the chaos lies unexpected beauty and wisdom:
Lesson 1: The Art of Letting Go
This doesn’t come naturally, especially to my fellow perfectionists out there. It’s an art that takes practice and patience, but differentiating the trivial from the significant can really change your experience.
Lesson 2: The Power in Humor
You might not see it in the midst of a challenge, but embracing laughter as a coping mechanism can really lighten the challenge and help shift your perspective.
Lesson 3: Flexibility is Key
Leave the routine at the door and open up to the flexibility required by each unique day. Being adaptable as a mother is so important and will help you navigate every day as needed.
Lesson 4: Celebrate your Wins
Live in the moment, as cliché as it sounds, and celebrate your victories in that experience. Look for the hidden gems, they are probably memories you will treasure forever.
