I was three weeks shy of my 41st birthday when my baby was born. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but I never thought it would happen when my age started with a 4! My husband, who coincidentally shares the same birthday, and I talked positively about having children, and wanting to be the best versions of ourselves if, and when, it eventually happened.
A few months after our 40th birthday, we found out I was pregnant. I had a smooth pregnancy and delivery – a blessing I feel incredibly fortunate to have had. Holding my baby girl in my arms filled me with immense joy and gratitude, reminding me that motherhood at 40 doesn’t always unfold in the way we expect—but it happens in its perfect time.
Maintaining a healthy pregnancy played a significant role in how I navigated pregnancy and postpartum recovery. Years of working out, eating well, and prioritizing my health helped me feel strong, both physically and mentally, as I stepped into this new role. However, I quickly realized that while my body had prepared me for this journey, my heart and mind had their own lessons to learn.
If you find yourself waiting for your little one because life had other plans for you – planned or not – here’s what I want you to know:
Focus on What You Can Control
It’s easy to get lost in the “what ifs” and “whens,” but the truth is, some things are simply out of our control. What you can control is how you take care of yourself. Prioritize your health, nourish your body with good, clean food, and keep moving. Taking care of yourself during pregnancy is not just about preparing for motherhood—it’s about showing up for yourself, no matter where you are in your journey. Having strong arms doesn’t hurt either when you’re carrying your baby all day.
Your Season Will Come
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that we all move through life in different seasons. A few years ago, I may not have been in the right season for becoming a mom, even if I thought I was ready. Sometimes, waiting is a blessing in disguise. The right season involves more than just you—it includes your partner, your circumstances, and your emotional readiness. When your season arrives, you will know, and it will be worth the wait. Your back may hurt more than it did one, two, or five years ago, but that’s nothing a little Panadol can’t fix.
Take a Deep Breath—You Don’t Have to Know Everything
There’s a reason for the saying “ignorance is bliss.” It is so easy to become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information available about motherhood. While it’s great to educate yourself, you don’t have to consume every piece of advice out there, and not every piece of advice was intended for you. Lean on your loved ones, ask your questions, and have open conversations with those you trust. Also, take everything you read, watch, or listen to with a grain of salt. Once baby comes, you’ll forget it all anyway, but somehow, you’ll still be fine.
Things Won’t Always Go According to Plan
Motherhood teaches you flexibility in ways you never expected. For example, I had always assumed I would breastfeed, and while I had heard it wasn’t intuitive, I graduated cum laude – how hard could it be? My breastfeeding journey ended on day three of being a mom. I realized my Political Science degree was useless, and I had to accept that ‘fed,’ not necessarily ‘breast,’ was best. Give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned. There is no perfect way to be a mother—only the way that works for you and your baby.
Block Out the Noise
Unfortunately, unsolicited advice is free, and everyone has an opinion about parenting over 40—when you should have kids, how you should feed them, what parenting style you should follow. It’s easy to get lost in the noise. But at the end of the day, your motherhood journey is yours alone. Trust your instincts, make decisions that align with your values, and drown out the voices that don’t serve you.
Be Kind to Yourself
Motherhood at 40 was not what I had planned, but it turned out to be the perfect timing for me. Every journey is different, and if you are in a waiting season, know that you are not alone. You are strong, capable, and exactly where you are meant to be.
If you’re looking for a supportive space filled with encouragement and shared experiences, Madinat Mom is here for you. Connect with other moms who understand, share your story, and find reassurance in knowing that every path to motherhood is unique and valid.
You can watch Nesma’s Full Story on Youtube or you can listen to the audio version through the Podcast Tab on the Madinat Mom Website.
