Everyone says motherhood is exhausting.
You hear it. You think you know it.
You expect the sleepless nights and the overwhelming love.
I Thought I Was Ready
I read a lot during my first pregnancy. I thought I was ready.
And to be fair, my pregnancy went smoothly—until the delivery.
After nearly 24 hours of labor, I had an unexpected emergency c-section.
I hadn’t read a single word about c-sections.
Why would I? I was convinced I wouldn’t need one.
I wanted a natural birth so badly that I pushed any other outcome out of my mind.
That was my first lesson:
Even if you’re scared, it’s better to know.
Even just reading a little about things that might happen can help later.
Because when I woke up after surgery, I was overwhelmed, in pain, and completely unprepared.
What No One Warned Me About
No one had told me about the after-pains.
No one said how long the recovery would take.
No one warned me how emotionally raw I would feel.
I was lucky to have my husband by my side. Without his support, I honestly don’t know how I would have made it through that first year.
It was tough.
I struggled.
My baby didn’t sleep much.
I Googled things like:
“how to cook with a baby who won’t let you put them down.”
And I felt like I was failing.
The Postpartum Hormone Rollercoaster
Let me tell you something else no one talks about enough: hormones.
They are wild. They impact everything—your emotions, your energy, your perspective on life.
The Breastfeeding Struggle
Then there’s breastfeeding.
One of the most idealized, yet misunderstood parts of new motherhood.
A friend once told me, “It’s the most natural thing in the world.”
I said nothing.
Because yes, maybe it’s natural—
but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
It was painful. It was draining. I cried through every latch—for six months.
I wanted to quit so many times, but I didn’t.
Not because it was magical, but because I had committed to it for myself.
Even when the pain finally stopped, it never became this blissful bonding moment others described. Things No One Tells You
Yes, I marveled at the fact that I was nourishing a human life—
but the word “beautiful” never felt quite right for our journey.
My Second Baby. A New Experience
And then came my second child.
And somehow, this time, it just worked.
From the very first latch, it was smooth—
as if he had done it a hundred times already.
Even though I had less time, even though I now had a toddler climbing on me mid-feed—
I finally felt what others meant when they said they enjoyed it.
I cherished the quiet moments.
Not because they were easy, but because I finally had the space to appreciate them.
Then came healing—through birth, through bonding, and through time.
This second delivery was shorter, smoother, and natural.
Yes, I was scared of the epidural again (it only worked halfway the first time). Things No One Tells You
But this time, it worked perfectly. I felt strong, calm, and present.
I could stand up right after birth.
Even with two children, I felt more at peace than I had after my first.
Let’s Talk About The Guilt
Here’s another truth I wish more people said out loud:
All those little comments people make—
“Calm mother, calm baby.”
“Maybe your baby is fussy because you’re stressed.”
They’re not always helpful. And they’re not always true.
I’ve had one child who was intense from the beginning—
and another who was calm from birth.
And I was the same woman both times.
If anything, I was more exhausted the second time around.
So no, it’s not always about how calm the mother is.
Babies come with their own personalities. Their own rhythms. Their own wild magic.
I’m tired of the guilt that hides inside “advice.”
People don’t know your story.
They don’t know your pain, your nights, your hormones, your healing.
You’re doing your best—and that is more than enough.
To the New Mama Reading This
Prepare a little. Be curious. But don’t expect to control it all.
And when it gets hard, remember:
You are not alone. You are not failing.
Sometimes, healing comes in ways we never expected.
This is also one of the reasons I started my mama account.
Not to tell others what to do—
but to offer the kind of real tips and honest words I was always searching for.
Because sometimes, what we need most isn’t advice—
but someone who simply understands.
Connect With Maryam on Instagram @growingfamilymoments where she shares family friendly spots in the UAE.
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