The Expectation vs. Reality of Motherhood
I thought becoming a mom would feel like stepping into a role I was born for, especially after years of trying to conceive.
After one round of IVF, I finally became a mother. After everything I had been through,
I thought I was supposed to feel complete, like nothing else should matter anymore.
So when I found myself missing parts of my old life and my old self, I was embarrassed. I felt guilty even admitting it.
How could I want anything else when I had the one thing I had fought so hard for? But the truth is, I was drowning in a version of myself I didn’t recognize.
The Unexpected Way Work Helped
The Need for Something Familiar
I loved my baby with a fierceness I didn’t know I was capable of, and going back to work felt like a betrayal of motherhood.
But I needed to go back to work — I needed to reach out for something that felt solid when everything else in my life had shifted.
Maternity in the UAE is short — we have just a few weeks to figure out an entirely new life.
Everyone said the newborn days would fly by, that I would miss them when they were gone, and I was terrified they were right.
I didn’t want to wish this time away, but I also couldn’t ignore the part of me that needed more.
I caught myself checking my work emails barely a week after giving birth, craving the sense of competence and normalcy that work used to give me.
The Unexpected Way Work Helped
Redefining What It Means To Be A Present Mom
Balancing the anxiety of caring for a newborn with the pressure to prove myself at work was overwhelming.
I was constantly torn between the fear of missing precious moments with my son and the need to demonstrate to my colleagues,
And boss, that motherhood hadn’t diminished my professional capabilities.
Going back to work was a strange mix of relief and guilt. Walking into the office, sitting at my desk, opening my laptop,
It all felt familiar, almost comforting. For a few hours, I could slip back into the version of myself I recognized.
But underneath that, there was always this low hum of guilt. Some days I felt strong and capable, proud that I could do both.
Other days, it felt like I was failing at everything, missing milestones at home and falling short at work. No one warned me how heavy it would feel to carry both loves at once.
I also realized that being a working mom didn’t mean missing out on motherhood.
I was still there for the morning snuggles, the evening stories, the weekend adventures.
I was able to be fully present when I was with my son, and that mattered more than the number of hours I was away.
A New Chapter: Facing the Same Fears with New Strength
Now, as I sit here at the end of my second maternity leave, blessed with newborn twins, I feel that familiar tug again
The excitement to return to work and rediscover pieces of myself, mixed with the deep, aching nerves of leaving my babies after less than two months.
But this time, it feels a little different. I’ve learned that asking for help isn’t a weakness.
Surrounding myself with support, allowing others to step in, and giving myself permission to not do it all alone is how I’ll keep my cup full, so I can pour into theirs.
The Unexpected Way Work Helped
Leaving a Legacy through Living Fully
I remind myself daily that by chasing my aspirations, by building a life that makes me feel proud and whole,
I’m not taking away from my children, I’m showing them what’s possible.
I’m teaching them that they can be devoted to the people they love and still show up for their own dreams. It’s not easy. It never was. But it’s worth it.
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